Risking in My Relationships with Others - Pt. 1

So, how was your week risking yourself with God?  I hope that you had a chance to allow God to search the depths of who you are.  I will tell you that as I have done this my relationship with God has been more alive and more real feeling a “closeness” with God.

As Jesus shared in the great commandment, we are called to a genuine and loving relationship with God, but we are also called to this with others.  You may feel that you are able to have a close relationship with God, but are freaked out when it comes to being open and trusting in relationships with people.

I know for me, it has been a real journey developing healthy genuine and loving relationships with those around me.  Over my life I have had a lot of friends who I would share interests or even experiences, but I have struggled to trust them with me leading to relationships where I could let my guard down and have them do that with me.

I‘ve tried, but there have been many times where I have opened up only to have a person break my trust, let me down or even not reciprocate the friendship.  I have been burned and it has been a learning experience.  It hurts and had made me want to just not open myself to others.

Over the last 4-5 years this has changed however, slowly I have found relationships where I can be authentic and reflect God’s love.  As I look back, I know what has made the difference.  First, I have learned to risk myself with God like we spoke of last week.  In trusting God with who I am, I began to see my worth and value in Him, freeing me from finding my worth or identity in others.  Secondly, this freedom and sense of God-given identity has then allowed me to risk myself in relationships with those around me.

It can be easy to say, “Yeh, that’s great for you, but I have been burned in friendships one too many times.  Every time I try to open myself up it is a disaster.  Either I am judged for it and looked down on or I am ignored.”  Like I said, I have been there.

God did not create us to be loners, He created us for relationships, it’s in our DNA.  In fact, God and Adam had a relationship, but then God created Eve for relationship among people.  We were created as relational beings 1^st with God then with others.

So, if we are to be in relationships, and maybe you desire to be real relationships but you may not know what to look for.  Here’s what the writer of Ecclesiastes says:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹ Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹² And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 

As we look at this, we find three marks of real relationships:

Mutual Growth

“Two are better than one”

Friends help each other be their best.  They lift each other up. 

In your relationships, do you look to make the other person all they can be?

Selflessness

“How can one keep warm alone?”

Friends help each other; they look to the other person’s interest above their own.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.

Love is love because it is selfless.

Safety

“two will withstand him.”

A true friend has your back.  They are there to help protect you from others and even yourself.

A friend also makes your relationship as safe place to be yourself.

Growth, Selflessness and safety…I know for me they are really appealing.  I mean don’t you want to have your relationships marked with this?  Think of the confidence you will have to follow the adventure God has for you knowing that someone is supporting and standing with you as God shapes you.

How do we get there though?  How do we develop these relationships? 

Check back next week as we continue our discussion.

Risking Myself with God

We can only risk ourselves or step out of our comfort zone and into God’s great adventure when we are trusting in His mission for us, His faithfulness to us and His power through us.

Last week we also introduced our mission reflected in Jesus great commandment and that mission is to step out into genuine and loving relationships with God and others.

So, where do we begin?  What is our first way that we can risk in this mission? 

Well, if we desire to step out into these genuine, loving relationships with God and others, then it begins with stepping out first with God.

I would like to share with you a couple of risks we can take when it comes to our relationship with God.  The first risk is:

To know God

In addition to knowing about Him we can actively know Him. We can risk by being fully engaged in knowing Him.  This means we risk by seeking to experience His character.

If God is love, don’t just read about it, but get out there and live in the light of His love with confidence and stability.  If He is forgiveness, walk in it and live in freedom and acceptance

So as we embark on our challenge, we can risk by boldly engaging our everyday lives in knowing God.  Just as David we can commit to see God at work in every aspect of our lives.

So, knowing God is risky, but we are not done yet.  Our relationship with God can get even more risky.  A second huge risk we can take in our relationship with God is:

To be known by God

In Psalm 139, David speaks of knowing God.  He speaks of knowing God’s knowledge of him, presence with him and power through him.  At the end of the Psalm David invites God to know him.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! ²⁴ And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

Now David already knew David just as He knows us.  He knows our struggles, our fears, and our joys.  So, why should we invite God to know us? 

We should do this so that we can be ourselves with Him as then we both will know us. 

Risking God to know us lets us passionately be ourselves with Him and get things out.  It will lead to healing, to hope, to confidence and peace, but most of all it will draw us closer to God making it easier for us to come to Him honestly and passionately again.

Maybe you are in a dark place, a place where you don’t feel like anyone is there for you and no one understands – let God know.  Maybe you are doubting that God has a plan for you and that He has forgotten about you – let Him know.  Maybe you are afraid, afraid of what He is calling you to do or afraid of what you see ahead – let Him know. 

When we risk ourselves with God, risk ourselves to know and be known by Him, we free ourselves to step out in healthy relationships with others.  That is our risk next week.

The Groundwork for Risk

One of the most unlikely heroes in the Bible was a man named Gideon.  He became Israel’s fifth judge.  Judges basically were empowered by God to deliver Israel from oppression and lead them back to God.  Before becoming a judge Gideon was an ordinary guy (actually he referred to himself as the least in his clan and in his family), but God had a great adventure for him.  This adventure took risk.

Gideon first risked by tearing down the altar to an idol right in his hometown and then he led the Israelite army against the invading Midianite army.  What made this amazing is that God whittled the Israelite army down from 30,000 to 300 men who then defeated a mighty enemy.

In order to take this kind of risk, Gideon needed to have absolute trust in God.  You see, risk is impossible without trust.

Trust is the key to risk.  We can step out of our comfort zone when our trust is in God.  Let’s break this down a bit.  You see, we can risk, when we like Gideon have our trust grounded in:

God’s Mission

Gideon could step out into God’s adventure because he was confident in God’s mission.  Now he got confident when God spoke to Him His mission and He saw it was God through the three tests.  Gideon needed to trust that this was God and what He was saying was what He wanted.

We can take risks for God when we know what He wants from us.  Now we may not know specifically (that will come over time and through prayer) but we do know generally His mission for us as followers.  Here is God’s mission for us where we can risk for Him:

Matthew 22:37-39  And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸ This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

This is referred to as the great commandment of Jesus.  It will actually be our mission for risk this next year.  The mission is simple, to step out into God’s great adventure in our loving relationships with Him and others.  We will be talking about this over the next few weeks.

God may give us specifics to this but we have this generally and we can trust that God wants us at the very least to do this.

In order to risk we also need our trust grounded in:

God’s Faithfulness

Gideon witnessed God’s faithfulness and risked.  He saw God be faithful with the army and in His protection God protected Him.

As we trust in God’s faithfulness in our lives, we will find it easier to risk with Him.  God’s faithfulness is proven and we only will see it as we step out. 

Finally, we will be able to step out of our comfort zone and risk for God when our trust is grounded in:

God’s Power

We have an all-powerful God and when we see and know His power, we can be confident in taking risks for Him.

I am not an overly brave guy.  I would even say in many things I am cautious.  But do you know what?  God has been challenging me that as I follow Him, He wants me to risk.  He wants me to step out of my comfort zone into the adventure He has for me.  I believe He has given this challenge both for myself and for us as a church family.

This kind of risk is not possible unless we trust.  We need to have our trust grounded in God’s mission, faithfulness and power.