Risking in My Relationships with Others - Pt. 1

So, how was your week risking yourself with God?  I hope that you had a chance to allow God to search the depths of who you are.  I will tell you that as I have done this my relationship with God has been more alive and more real feeling a “closeness” with God.

As Jesus shared in the great commandment, we are called to a genuine and loving relationship with God, but we are also called to this with others.  You may feel that you are able to have a close relationship with God, but are freaked out when it comes to being open and trusting in relationships with people.

I know for me, it has been a real journey developing healthy genuine and loving relationships with those around me.  Over my life I have had a lot of friends who I would share interests or even experiences, but I have struggled to trust them with me leading to relationships where I could let my guard down and have them do that with me.

I‘ve tried, but there have been many times where I have opened up only to have a person break my trust, let me down or even not reciprocate the friendship.  I have been burned and it has been a learning experience.  It hurts and had made me want to just not open myself to others.

Over the last 4-5 years this has changed however, slowly I have found relationships where I can be authentic and reflect God’s love.  As I look back, I know what has made the difference.  First, I have learned to risk myself with God like we spoke of last week.  In trusting God with who I am, I began to see my worth and value in Him, freeing me from finding my worth or identity in others.  Secondly, this freedom and sense of God-given identity has then allowed me to risk myself in relationships with those around me.

It can be easy to say, “Yeh, that’s great for you, but I have been burned in friendships one too many times.  Every time I try to open myself up it is a disaster.  Either I am judged for it and looked down on or I am ignored.”  Like I said, I have been there.

God did not create us to be loners, He created us for relationships, it’s in our DNA.  In fact, God and Adam had a relationship, but then God created Eve for relationship among people.  We were created as relational beings 1^st with God then with others.

So, if we are to be in relationships, and maybe you desire to be real relationships but you may not know what to look for.  Here’s what the writer of Ecclesiastes says:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹ Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹² And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 

As we look at this, we find three marks of real relationships:

Mutual Growth

“Two are better than one”

Friends help each other be their best.  They lift each other up. 

In your relationships, do you look to make the other person all they can be?

Selflessness

“How can one keep warm alone?”

Friends help each other; they look to the other person’s interest above their own.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.

Love is love because it is selfless.

Safety

“two will withstand him.”

A true friend has your back.  They are there to help protect you from others and even yourself.

A friend also makes your relationship as safe place to be yourself.

Growth, Selflessness and safety…I know for me they are really appealing.  I mean don’t you want to have your relationships marked with this?  Think of the confidence you will have to follow the adventure God has for you knowing that someone is supporting and standing with you as God shapes you.

How do we get there though?  How do we develop these relationships? 

Check back next week as we continue our discussion.