Risking in My Relationships with Others - Pt. 1

So, how was your week risking yourself with God?  I hope that you had a chance to allow God to search the depths of who you are.  I will tell you that as I have done this my relationship with God has been more alive and more real feeling a “closeness” with God.

As Jesus shared in the great commandment, we are called to a genuine and loving relationship with God, but we are also called to this with others.  You may feel that you are able to have a close relationship with God, but are freaked out when it comes to being open and trusting in relationships with people.

I know for me, it has been a real journey developing healthy genuine and loving relationships with those around me.  Over my life I have had a lot of friends who I would share interests or even experiences, but I have struggled to trust them with me leading to relationships where I could let my guard down and have them do that with me.

I‘ve tried, but there have been many times where I have opened up only to have a person break my trust, let me down or even not reciprocate the friendship.  I have been burned and it has been a learning experience.  It hurts and had made me want to just not open myself to others.

Over the last 4-5 years this has changed however, slowly I have found relationships where I can be authentic and reflect God’s love.  As I look back, I know what has made the difference.  First, I have learned to risk myself with God like we spoke of last week.  In trusting God with who I am, I began to see my worth and value in Him, freeing me from finding my worth or identity in others.  Secondly, this freedom and sense of God-given identity has then allowed me to risk myself in relationships with those around me.

It can be easy to say, “Yeh, that’s great for you, but I have been burned in friendships one too many times.  Every time I try to open myself up it is a disaster.  Either I am judged for it and looked down on or I am ignored.”  Like I said, I have been there.

God did not create us to be loners, He created us for relationships, it’s in our DNA.  In fact, God and Adam had a relationship, but then God created Eve for relationship among people.  We were created as relational beings 1^st with God then with others.

So, if we are to be in relationships, and maybe you desire to be real relationships but you may not know what to look for.  Here’s what the writer of Ecclesiastes says:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹ Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹² And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 

As we look at this, we find three marks of real relationships:

Mutual Growth

“Two are better than one”

Friends help each other be their best.  They lift each other up. 

In your relationships, do you look to make the other person all they can be?

Selflessness

“How can one keep warm alone?”

Friends help each other; they look to the other person’s interest above their own.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.

Love is love because it is selfless.

Safety

“two will withstand him.”

A true friend has your back.  They are there to help protect you from others and even yourself.

A friend also makes your relationship as safe place to be yourself.

Growth, Selflessness and safety…I know for me they are really appealing.  I mean don’t you want to have your relationships marked with this?  Think of the confidence you will have to follow the adventure God has for you knowing that someone is supporting and standing with you as God shapes you.

How do we get there though?  How do we develop these relationships? 

Check back next week as we continue our discussion.

Risking Myself with God

We can only risk ourselves or step out of our comfort zone and into God’s great adventure when we are trusting in His mission for us, His faithfulness to us and His power through us.

Last week we also introduced our mission reflected in Jesus great commandment and that mission is to step out into genuine and loving relationships with God and others.

So, where do we begin?  What is our first way that we can risk in this mission? 

Well, if we desire to step out into these genuine, loving relationships with God and others, then it begins with stepping out first with God.

I would like to share with you a couple of risks we can take when it comes to our relationship with God.  The first risk is:

To know God

In addition to knowing about Him we can actively know Him. We can risk by being fully engaged in knowing Him.  This means we risk by seeking to experience His character.

If God is love, don’t just read about it, but get out there and live in the light of His love with confidence and stability.  If He is forgiveness, walk in it and live in freedom and acceptance

So as we embark on our challenge, we can risk by boldly engaging our everyday lives in knowing God.  Just as David we can commit to see God at work in every aspect of our lives.

So, knowing God is risky, but we are not done yet.  Our relationship with God can get even more risky.  A second huge risk we can take in our relationship with God is:

To be known by God

In Psalm 139, David speaks of knowing God.  He speaks of knowing God’s knowledge of him, presence with him and power through him.  At the end of the Psalm David invites God to know him.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! ²⁴ And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

Now David already knew David just as He knows us.  He knows our struggles, our fears, and our joys.  So, why should we invite God to know us? 

We should do this so that we can be ourselves with Him as then we both will know us. 

Risking God to know us lets us passionately be ourselves with Him and get things out.  It will lead to healing, to hope, to confidence and peace, but most of all it will draw us closer to God making it easier for us to come to Him honestly and passionately again.

Maybe you are in a dark place, a place where you don’t feel like anyone is there for you and no one understands – let God know.  Maybe you are doubting that God has a plan for you and that He has forgotten about you – let Him know.  Maybe you are afraid, afraid of what He is calling you to do or afraid of what you see ahead – let Him know. 

When we risk ourselves with God, risk ourselves to know and be known by Him, we free ourselves to step out in healthy relationships with others.  That is our risk next week.

The Groundwork for Risk

One of the most unlikely heroes in the Bible was a man named Gideon.  He became Israel’s fifth judge.  Judges basically were empowered by God to deliver Israel from oppression and lead them back to God.  Before becoming a judge Gideon was an ordinary guy (actually he referred to himself as the least in his clan and in his family), but God had a great adventure for him.  This adventure took risk.

Gideon first risked by tearing down the altar to an idol right in his hometown and then he led the Israelite army against the invading Midianite army.  What made this amazing is that God whittled the Israelite army down from 30,000 to 300 men who then defeated a mighty enemy.

In order to take this kind of risk, Gideon needed to have absolute trust in God.  You see, risk is impossible without trust.

Trust is the key to risk.  We can step out of our comfort zone when our trust is in God.  Let’s break this down a bit.  You see, we can risk, when we like Gideon have our trust grounded in:

God’s Mission

Gideon could step out into God’s adventure because he was confident in God’s mission.  Now he got confident when God spoke to Him His mission and He saw it was God through the three tests.  Gideon needed to trust that this was God and what He was saying was what He wanted.

We can take risks for God when we know what He wants from us.  Now we may not know specifically (that will come over time and through prayer) but we do know generally His mission for us as followers.  Here is God’s mission for us where we can risk for Him:

Matthew 22:37-39  And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸ This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

This is referred to as the great commandment of Jesus.  It will actually be our mission for risk this next year.  The mission is simple, to step out into God’s great adventure in our loving relationships with Him and others.  We will be talking about this over the next few weeks.

God may give us specifics to this but we have this generally and we can trust that God wants us at the very least to do this.

In order to risk we also need our trust grounded in:

God’s Faithfulness

Gideon witnessed God’s faithfulness and risked.  He saw God be faithful with the army and in His protection God protected Him.

As we trust in God’s faithfulness in our lives, we will find it easier to risk with Him.  God’s faithfulness is proven and we only will see it as we step out. 

Finally, we will be able to step out of our comfort zone and risk for God when our trust is grounded in:

God’s Power

We have an all-powerful God and when we see and know His power, we can be confident in taking risks for Him.

I am not an overly brave guy.  I would even say in many things I am cautious.  But do you know what?  God has been challenging me that as I follow Him, He wants me to risk.  He wants me to step out of my comfort zone into the adventure He has for me.  I believe He has given this challenge both for myself and for us as a church family.

This kind of risk is not possible unless we trust.  We need to have our trust grounded in God’s mission, faithfulness and power.

iRisk: Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone

A pastor friend of mine often speaks of the life-cycle of a healthy person/church. Here is how it goes: Healthy things grow, growing things change, change requires risk, risk takes faith and faith makes things healthy.

This makes a lot of sense to me and I can easily jump on board, I mean I want to be healthy and growth is good, I understand that everything must change eventually, I also get faith, but one thing is pretty scary – it’s that risk thing. I mean risk is pretty scary, it’s …RISKY!

Really the truth is that most people would rather opt for the easy and comfortable life rather than the risky life. Risk is not natural for most of us, yet risk is the key to health. In fact, I believe that our ability to risk in our spiritual lives will be the difference-maker as we seek to have Jesus make an impact in and through our lives.

So this is risk – stepping out of our comfort zone and into God’s great adventure for us.

Building on the call of Jesus found in Matthew 22:37-39

And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸ This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

we will discover how we can step out of our comfort zone and into authentic, loving relationships with God and those around us. This theme serves as a challenge for us as individuals and as a church family as we embark on our mission to become Real People, growing in Real Faith, impacting Real Life through God’s Grace.

During the year ahead, this blog will take a look at this challenge to risk. Over the next few weeks we will look at what makes risking possible as well as three key areas of risk for our lives. After that we will look at personal stories of risk as we step out of our comfort zone this year.

I hope you are challenged and encouraged by our adventure this year. Hang on; this is going to be a wild ride!

Snow What!

Today and yesterday I spent time digging out from my latest reminder that I am not in control. There is nothing like a snowstorm to remind me that no matter how much I think I can control things in my life – there is no way I can control much at all, especially the weather. This has been an amazing winter – and it’s not over yet.

As I sat at home while the snow fell, I had the TV on. The coverage was amazing. All the major networks in Philly had hours upon hours of “Snowmagedden Coverage.” Hour after hour they went to reporters in the field, they consulted maps, they interviewed officials all to tell us that, yes, indeed, it was still snowing. I mean all it took for me to do was to look at out the window and see that! Fortunately I did not watch long, but I did check in from time to time and they were still at it, stating the obvious. In the meantime, life went on. My girls still had to do homework, I needed to still prep for Sunday, many had to still go to work – the world did not stop you know. But here are the news shows acting like it had.

As I reflected on this I began thinking about storms that may come to our lives. These storms can take the form of sickness, loss of job, financial issues, family distress, or a myriad of things. It made me think of how I respond when these storms come into my life. Do I get so consumed with the storm that I forget that life is continuing on? Most of all am I making the most of my time with God even during these times. Now I am not talking about performing for God or striving to please Him every second, no I am talking about seeking Him in the storms of life, because He has something for me to learn and He desires to build my faith.

One night as Jesus slept in a boat while his disciples sailed across the sea, a great storm arose and the disciples panicked and worried for their lives. They awoke Jesus (who by the way was still sleeping – not fazed by the storm around Him – hmm…) who stood and still the storm. He then challenged his disciples to have more faith, that even in the storms of life, God is in control. So as we dig out, remember that in any storm that may hit us, God is still and always in control.

Psalm 93:1 (ESV) The Lord reigns; he is robed in majesty; the Lord is robed; he has put on strength as his belt. Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved.

Have a great week!

Trust Issues

One of the activities that I enjoy most is hiking, especially climbing some of the mountains nearby. Just outside of town there looms a large mountain called Superstition Mountain. I had some friends that were telling me about a great hike to the top (one of the areas is called Flat Iron). It stands about 4500 ft. They said the hike was a little tough but well worth it.

One cool March morning were set out (about 15 of us) to hike to the top of Flat Iron. Now as we began it was easy enough but as we got to the base I was met with the hike (Straight up the face of the mountain) It was steep, not straight up, but it was like climbing stairs for few thousand feet up.

As we neared the top (with my legs BURNING) I noticed that to make it up to the plateau you needed to scale a 15ft shear rock face. Now I had been hiking for hours and I was too close to quit now, so I found a small crack and worked my way up to the top. The view from the top was spectacular. You could see for miles and miles. It was truly exhilarating.

I guess this is the time of the story that I should let you know that I am deathly afraid of heights. As I stood on top, it hit me that I would have to somehow get down that 15ft cliff to even make it to the trail to get down. There was no way that was going to happen. One of my friends was an experienced hiker and not afraid of heights. He offered to help me get down. He went down the cliff first stopping half way down. He put up his hands and asked me to hold myself out and place my foot in his hands and then I could get down. In other words, I had to place my life in his hands.

To do this I would have to take a blind leap (well hang) off the top to his hand. It was then that I realized that I had trust issues. Now I knew that this guy was a good guy and he wasn’t going to let me get hurt, but that first leap just was a bit much to overcome.

My mind then began to picture me stuck on top of the mountain, by myself all night. How I would be on the news the next day as the helicopter would come to rescue. They would show an embarrassing picture from my high school yearbook as they carried a live shot of my rescue with the caption, “rescue of chicken hiker.” It was too much – I overcame my fear and decided to trust.

This became an important lesson in the value of trust which is: Life is impossible if I do not learn to trust. The fact of the matter is that EVERYTHING in my spiritual life down to the issue of trust. Every success and every struggle finds its root in how well I have trusted in God. It is truly the keystone for life.

There is a story in the Bible of God’s people wondering in the desert wilderness waiting to follow God into His promised land for them. Their leader Moses, was leading them and teaching them to trust God in all things. Unfortunately the people weren’t quite getting the message and they found a way to complain about everything. They complained that they did not have water, so God gave them water. They complained about not having food, so God gave them food. They complained about not seeing God, not having meat to eat, who was in charge, not having the right sunscreen (well maybe not that last one, but they probably would have if they could).

In one instance we find the people once again complaining to their leader Moses that they don’t have enough water. This story is in Numbers 20. What happens next teaches three lessons about what true trust in God is all about.

Lesson #1: True Trust is born out of a reverence for God.

When the people confront Moses and his brother Aaron and complain, they immediately go to God for guidance and perspective.

Numbers 20:6 (ESV) Then Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting and fell on their faces. And the glory of the Lord appeared to them,

Moses and Aaron take the first step. When faced with a trial in life, they go to God, the source of their trust. They go in submission (they fell on their faces) meaning that they went not to take their agenda, but to receive God’s.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to want to go first to others (who might agree with me) or even trust my gut, before going to God, sometimes as a last resort. I need to trust Him first and foremost, to go to Him on His terms. For trust to even take legs it needs to begin in the right place and that place is a place of submission to God.

Lesson #2: True Trust often flies in the face of conventional wisdom

Sometimes what God desires us to do or how he desires us to act goes counter to what seems logical. Often it would not be our first response.

Numbers 20:7-8 (ESV) and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, ⁸ "Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle."

Certainly just speaking to rock for water does not seem logical. Moses had gotten water from a rock by striking it, but not by speaking to it. Also, why does God keep giving the people what they want, don’t they need to be put straight.

Has God ever asked you to do something, to step out in trust where it just didn’t seem logical? This is often the paradox of following Christ. We die to live, Jesus died to give life, we are to be last to be first. We are to serve to be exalted.

Where is God calling you to trust where it seems to go against conventional wisdom – is it at work where you may have to step on people on your way to the top, but God says be patient. Maybe it’s at home with you spouse or kids. Maybe it’s with your finances where you are tempted to cut a few corners to get ahead.

Listen to God, trust in Him – He is always right, even if it goes against the circumstances you are facing.

The final lesson is the most critical. If we do not get this right, we negate the first two lessons.

Lesson #3: True Trust leads to actions that are God-centered

This is where Moses goes wrong – he takes matters into his own hands and does things the way he wanted to.

Numbers 20:10-11 (ESV) Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, "Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?" ¹¹ And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock.

Notice that even though God did work, and Moses did well in the first two steps, because he did not follow it through with right actions – he didn’t trust.

Numbers 20:12 (ESV) And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them."

You see, trust trusts the means not just the ends. Moses did not trust God to enough for him to obey what God said.

We can go to God and even realize what God wants us to do, but if do not do it, we really never really trusted in the first place. Our actions will always reveal our level of trust that we had. Are we willing to do what is right, what God calls us to do, even when it is not easy or it does not make sense?

What trials are you facing where God calling you to trust?

Making things too complicated

I recently bought my daughter a small sun tent that she could use on the beach. When I got it home and unpacked the contents of the box I picked up the instructions. These instructions were 32 pages long – with illustrations! The tent looked simple enough, it consisted of two poles and the tent nylon. The box advertised that it could be set up in five minutes, but it would take days just to get through the instructions! As I read, I got more and more confused. The instructions were so detailed I could not make heads or tails of them. They had made a simple tent assembly the work of an MIT graduate. I finally got frustrated and figured it out myself.

I don’t know if you can relate to this experience, it can be very frustrating. Sometimes, as followers of Christ, we make our relationship with God much more complicated than it needs to be. This was the situation of the religious leaders of Christ’s time.

The Jewish faith was one filled with thousands of rituals, purity laws and rules. If you don’t believe me, read Leviticus sometime. Anyway, in order to be a good Jew, one that had a good relationship with God, one must live up to the law. In order to police and explain the laws several religious orders were created. Three of the most prominent were the Pharisees, Sadducees and the Scribes.

Matthew’s Gospel tells of an encounter when these groups approached Christ in order to test and possibly trip Him up in His understanding of a good relationship with God. They asked about paying taxes to Caesar, how marriage would work in heaven and what laws are most important to keep. All these issues were confusing enough to make one’s head spin, how could anyone ever make sense of it? Jesus did, let’s look at what He said:

And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 22:37-40

Jesus had taken what they had made so complicated and simply explained what it meant live a right life before God as His child. He did not give any new command or add anything; rather He showed how simple our relationship with God can be.

Many times, followers of Christ make a relationship with God more complicated than it needs to be. It becomes filled with a long list of do’s and don’ts. Getting the most of our Christian life should not be a complicated list of instructions, but a simple relationship with a loving God. We can find maximum fulfillment in our spiritual lives by simplifying our lives in three areas:

Have a simple faith

Jesus spoke a lot about faith. He spoke of a simple, childlike faith. He said that the kingdom of heaven belongs to those with this childlike, simple faith. So often we think we need to have a certain kind of faith or it must look like this or that or that it has to be at this super level. Really a childlike, simple faith is one that rests in Christ in all areas. It is unconditional and unwavering. This simple faith is just hanging on to God in all things.

See from a simple perspective

Followers of Christ are renown for complicating what life is all about. Some say that life is all about being perfect in our actions. Others say it is about telling others about Christ. Others say it is about understanding God on an intellectual or experiential level. While these are important, our perspective is much more simple than that. Colossians 1:18, says that in all things Christ may have preeminence (first place). This should be our simple perspective. We should seek to glorify God so that Christ can be lifted up and not us. It means living our life for His benefit and not for ours.

Commit to a simple task

This means that we should live life based on simple faith and that simple perspective. Again, we can complicate our task as Followers of Christ making a long list of approved or unapproved activities and instructions for finding what God wants us to do. It does not need to be that complicated. We can commit to the simple task of glorifying God in all we do. This means that a way we glorify God may be to tell others or live holy lives or seek wisdom and instruction. It can also mean asking ourselves each and everyday, “God how can I glorify you today?”

Another great way to commit to a simple task is in everything we do, asking ourselves if this glorifies God or not. This has a way of simplifying what we do and also weighing what we do against that simple perspective and living out those tasks with that simple faith.

Next time you feel your head spinning because the Christian life seems so complicated. Keep It Simple Silly.