Risking in My Relationships with Others - Pt. 2

Last week we ended with the question of, “How do we develop these relationships?”  Basically, by “these relationships,” I mean relationships that are genuine marked by mutual growth, selflessness and safety. You can read part 1 of this blog if you want to dig further. 

So, how exactly can we develop these kinds of relationships?

Well, it takes risk.  It takes for us step out to trust others with who we are.  It takes us to keep at it even when we may get burned knowing that it is a process and takes time to develop.

Here are just a few ways that we can risk in developing genuine, healthy relationships:

Walking in Grace

Grace is a gift that God gives to us.  It is in essence Him giving something good to us what we do not deserve.  God’s grace makes us acceptable to God.  When it comes to our relationships with those we know, grace offers acceptance to each other.

When we walk in grace, we make that relationship a safe place.  It makes it safe by allowing the person to feel that you will not judge them or think them any less for what they have done or said.  Many times we do not last in relationships because we do not feel accepted by another.  Or, we may never grow because we feel intimidated to share ourselves.  Now think how different it could be if you knew that the other person would accept you even with your faults or mess-ups. 

This all begins when we take the risk of extending grace to another.  We make ourselves safe for a person to be themselves with us.  This may mean that we carry some heavy stuff that another shares, but grace means that we love them through it. 

When grace abounds in a relationship, it becomes very safe place to be who we really are.  This grace for relationships springs from the application of grace in our relationship with God:

Colossians 3:13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

So we can risk by walking in grace, which helps mark our relationships with safety, serving as a place to be open and honest.

Living with Humility

At the heart of humility is a realization that we are not the “end-all, be-all.”  As relationships grow and we are open with each other, it can be tempting to look down on another person taking a higher view of ourselves.

Humility allows us to extend understanding to each other.  When we live in humility we stand with someone rather than look down on them because we realize that we have things that are not perfect as well.

Humility helps us stand with someone in the midst of trials, helping them for their sake, not looking to ourselves.  Paul notes this in speaking of how we can help bear each other’s burdens:

Galatians 6:2-3 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. ³ For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Just as grace with others reflects God’s grace with us, humility cannot be risked if it has not been formed in a trusting relationship with God. When we see ourselves in light of God, it will keep us humble.

Humility brings the mark of selflessness to relationships as we look not to ourselves worrying about what we receive but about what we can give.  It allows us to be patient with a person as they work through things and looks for their best.

Giving out Encouragement

Encouragement brings out the best in others.  It is a way of challenging others to keep going, make a change, and even take a risk for themselves.  When we risk this in relationship, we are basically speaking the truth in a positive way. 

In my relationships I have received encouragement by having a friend speak truth into my life:  many times it was to lift me up but other times it was in the form of correction, but when it comes from one who is humble (selfless) and gracious it is a positive because I know it is offered with love and for my best.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

We can also risk by being encouraged.  When we open ourselves for correction in a relationship, we can grow from it rather than being destroyed by it.  Encouragement helps another person become better.  It allows us to help each other grow.  The writer of Hebrew touches on this:

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, ²⁵ not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Encouragement is incredibly powerful and helps mark a relationship with mutual growth as you can help bring out the best in each other.

Relationships with those around you can be scary, but they can also be amazing.  They can help us live out God’s adventure for us providing safety, selflessness and mutual growth to our lives.  When we risk ourselves with others, we will see our relationships deepen and take flight.

We can begin today; we can step out of our comfort zone and begin risking ourselves with others.  We can step out with grace, humility and encouragement.